I feel like I’ve just crossed over a bridge, as I’ve made a transition from one job to another, from one way of managing my diabetes to another, and I’ve noticed several changes, but one of them is a reluctance to blog.
I don’t know if it will always be this way, but life has felt like it’s been a matter of putting one foot in front of the other, with intense concentration and constant forward motion or necessary, intense rest, with little time for anything other than these essentials, since I last blogged.
I have many thoughts, but find myself with less of an immediate need to share them. Not because I’m not curious what other people might thing, or if they hold up in the light of day, but thinking has had to take a back seat to doing for a while.
Overall, life is good. I am stepping around my new terrain with some confidence these days. I actually felt happy (rather than overwhelmed, exhausted, just tired, stressed or downright anxious) today for the first time in a while, in one calm, contented moment. As I’ve made these transitions of the past few months, it seems like there’s been color commentary going on in my brain that sounds something like this:
Sportscaster 1: “Well, she’s not out of bed yet, and her heart is racing. Will she make it through another workday?”
Sportscaster 2: “It’s too soon to tell. If yesterday was any guide, today looks to be grueling. Her record shows she’s able to pull through, but for how long?”
The sportscasters are pretty quiet this weekend. The cringing and Monday Morning Quaterbacking were at an all-time high during one incident when I sent an email “reply all” instead of “reply” – but thankfully, my new supervisor took it in stride.
So, what do I want to talk about?
I made something tasty for dinner. Baked pasta with roasted vegetables, spinach and cheese, with a little marinara sauce. It came out great, but we have a ton of leftovers. I have been so busy with work that I haven’t been cooking much, and even though it was an easy dinner to make, it felt good to be in the kitchen.
I’ll probably be blogging less, commenting less, lurking more. I don’t like the way that sounds, because just because I’m in more of an observer than playing an active role in the Fatosphere, doesn’t mean I’m being creepy. I’m just at a phase of taking in information, more than sharing it out. It feels right, for right now.
I hope the world is treating you okay, that you are crossing the bridges in front of you with the greatest ease possible, and not second-guessing yourself too much. And that, in the words of the Irish blessing, that the road on the other side of the bridge rises up to meet you.