…about that 5%

…no, not the 5% of diet attempts that result in long-term weight loss, but this 5% (quoting myself, here):

“What’s confusing is that I’m also in the midst of a separation that is about 95% likely to result in a divorce. It’s hard, and in some ways messy, but in other ways confusingly agreeable. When asked if it was tense, I replied, not really, more it’s just very sad. And it is. We are all still sort of together and sort of not. It’s complicated and uncertain and unsolid. But it’s livable, and not in the “slowly boiling water” sort of way. It’s more just real. It isn’t storybook or textbook.”

We’re giving reconciliation a shot. The divorce plans are on hold. We are a blissfully happy to be back together again family. I’m, uh, more, uh, tired than I’ve been in a while, in a good way. This isn’t a matter of “another chance”, but a decision to see if we can work together, at this time, who we are, with all that has passed and all we’ve been hurt and who we’ve become. There’s no such thing as a fresh start, but there can be a starting again that isn’t about “chances” but just a realization that each day we wake up a different person than we were the day before, and making a choice each day to decide to make it work as best we can, and if we can’t, with eyes open and tearful, realizing we need something different.

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